Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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