he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
