God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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