now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
