I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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