we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
