only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
