after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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