i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
