flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
either way he was missing a nipple.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
