Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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(703): View more from Virginia

i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.

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(440): View more from Ohio

that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day

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(360): View more from Washington

I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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(440): View more from Ohio

the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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(940): View more from Texas

I also know you puked in your shoe.

(1-940): View more from Texas

That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...

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(708): View more from Illinois

the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .

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