there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
