dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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