I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude. I can hear the air.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
