the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
