You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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