If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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