I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
