Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
