I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
