I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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