he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
