I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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