I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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