Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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