i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
