When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she smelled like a LAN party
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
