I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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