Umm I'm too high to move.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
