Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
