Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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