She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
