morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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