Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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