i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
