she was so not down for the gang bang
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
