hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
