just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
