Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
