hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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