Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So here I am, sexting at work.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
