this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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