well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
