I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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