so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
