shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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