So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
