He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
