cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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