sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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