i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
